My Insolent Future Self

It was Saturday and my insolent future self was giving me lip. What has the world come to? We finally have the technology to make phone calls to the future and all I want to do is be sarcastic to me. What happened? And why do I appear to be a hologram? Did I die? If so, how? Unfortunately I had had enough of me and ended the call before I had a chance to find out. I just hope the death was a quick one. I’m going to learn from this. One thing I have learned is to never buy a robot named Silver that has emotions. It is clear from his voice that he’s on the edge of madness. A violent robotic killing spree is just around the corner, and the contempt for future me is unmistakable in the robots hysterical laughter. I’m sure robots are quite cable of dispatching a hologram.

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Going private? My reply to a job offer from a private health company


What the heck is this? I’ve been trying and failing to stop the government from privatising the National Health Service for years, and now a private healthcare company has contacted me about a job!

The email from Care UK says they are “seeking a Media Relations Executive for our Head Office based in Colchester and your skills and experience appear to be a good match.” Huh? They are offering a “competitive salary, 25 days holiday and corporate discounts.”

Here’s what I have replied:

Dear Laura,

Thank you for your unexpected email about the Media Relations Executive job with Care UK. I am very interested. Since Care UK is possibly the leading private healthcare company making inroads into the NHS, I would relish the opportunity to publicise what it does – indeed, this is precisely what I was trying to do in my previous job as information officer for Keep Our…

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