Another Year Burns to Ashes

In a few days I will be older than I was one year ago by exactly a year. It is quite remarkable. The same thing happened to me last year.

Last year, on the 12th of May, I was one year older than I was the year before on that exact same date. It really is a marvel. Something to be celebrated. A thing has been achieved. I must be showered with presents.

Once a year, on the day we slipped into the arms of a midwife – covered in God knows what – we push wax into cakes and light them on fire. Completely normal behaviour. The seasons have changed, I have less hair and am marginally uglier. Yippee. Let’s blow out some fire.

Time is spinning down the drain like dirty water. I have no idea what age I will become on the 12th of May (which is a Tuesday by the way. A day that nobody has any use for. What interesting thing has ever happened on a Tuesday? Only dull things. Meetings, rain, bills, stubbed toes: these are all Tuesday things.) I suppose I could work out how old I will be. I was born in 1984 so somewhere in my mid-thirties.

I have tried to forget the exact number. I am prone to thinking I am older than I am so it’s always a nice surprise when I discover my actual age.

I have just asked my partner, Rachel, and she says I will be turning thirty-six. I have no reason not to believe her.

People have been asking me what I want for my birthday. I have been replying with the answer, “Nothing.” Apparently this is not a good enough answer.

So I gave in. I decided fine, if they want to buy me presents, I will choose some presents.

I have logged into Rachel’s Amazon account and put things in her basket. I did the same with my mother’s account (for I have their login details. Bwa Ha Ha!).

I have been ordered to forget what these things are so they are still a surprise for me when I receive them so I’m afraid I can’t tell you what they are, for I have forgotten.

I will be back on the 12th May to share with you what I got. One of the items is over ten feet squared, so who knows where I’m going to put it? It won’t fit where we live.

If you would like to buy me a present (to celebrate the incremental journey to my eventual demise) you can do so by buying a gift for yourself: One of my brilliantly funny, witty, and just overall excellent novels.

Actually, you don’t even have to buy them. Below are links to the audiobooks of my first two novels where you can get them for free (UK only unfortunately). You enjoying my writing is as good a gift to me as anything. If you don’t have much use for an audiobook then both of the titles are available in paperback and on Kindle on Amazon. I will leave you to search for them, rather than littering the page with links.

Tripping the Night Fantastic audiobook.

The Accidental Scoundrel audiobook.

Leave nothing to Death but a burned out castleNikos Kazantzakis

Feed me for free

Hello! I have two books to give away. Both as audiobooks and Kindle ebooks. (Unfortunately I only have UK codes left for the audiobooks but the Kindle editions are free to everyone).

The links for the audiobooks are really easy to use. Two clicks and the book will be in your Audible library.

Currently I am not getting paid by work. You can help me feed the family by downloading the audiobook for free as I still get paid commission for free downloads!

In fact, if you don’t already have Audible and you make one of my books the first book you get (which is free, so you won’t need one of my codes) I receive an even higher bounty (and then you can always uninstall after your free trial 👍).

BOOK ONE

Tripping the Night Fantastic

Rude, charming, funny and offensive. Tripping the Night Fantastic is a dark comedy about a writer, Charlie Deavon, who attempts to solve a murder that he is accused of while under the influence of a new hallucinogenic drug called Merlin. Struggling with reality and suspecting he might be a character in a novel, Charlie trips and hallucinates his way to the solution of this unique and uproariously funny murder mystery.

Click here for the audiobook –

https://www.freeaudiobookcodes.com/book_details.php?BOOK_ID=1228

It appears I have made a blunder on the promotion and the kindle edition of this book won’t be available until tomorrow. I do apologise 🤦‍♂️

Kindle –
UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tripping-Night-Fantastic-Andrew-Chapman-ebook/dp/B0081SHPEW/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1585740505&sr=8-1

US – https://www.amazon.com/Tripping-Night-Fantastic-Andrew-Chapman-ebook/dp/B0081SHPEW/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1585740505&sr=8-1

BOOK TWO

The Accidental Scoundrel

A group of elderly and bored aristocrats have taken to stealing rare and priceless items to pass the time. A young man named Richard gets swept up in their world when he gets engaged to the daughter of the dangerously unpredictable Lord Rochdale. Although Richard is not particularly comfortable with theft, or much of the roguish behaviour that goes with it, he must prove to Rochdale that he has scoundrel potential in order to marry his daughter and, more importantly, stay alive.

With the help of a disgruntled horse and a genius street urchin Richard haphazardly stumbles his way through Rochdale’s trials and not only survives but gains the respect (although he’s not entirely sure how) of Lord Rochdale and his elite group of scoundrels. Now all he has to do is steal a priceless bottle of whiskey.

“Do we have a new Wodehouse?” (Robert Wingfield, The INCA Project)

“Anyone disappointed that Hugh Laurie’s second novel never turned up will be glad they picked up The Accidental Scoundrel and gave it a damn good reading.” – Jem Roberts, author of the upcoming official Fry and Laurie biography, Soupy Twists!

https://www.freeaudiobookcodes.com/book_details.php?BOOK_ID=1229

Kindle –
UK – https://www.amazon.co.uk/Accidental-Scoundrel-Andrew-Chapman-ebook/dp/B01M23R7F1/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1585739900&sr=8-1

US – https://www.amazon.com/Accidental-Scoundrel-Andrew-Chapman-ebook/dp/B01M23R7F1/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1585739900&sr=8-1

If you enjoy the books please please do leave a review and include some version of the following to adhere to Audible’s (and Amazon’s) review policies – “I was given this audiobook for free in exchange for an honest review.”

Thank you for reading.

ALMOST A BESTSELLER!

Calling all #AudiobookLovers and #ComedyFans my audiobook, The Accidental Scoundrel is currently No. 3 in the US humor charts!

If you have a spare credit and haven’t been sure what to spend it on why not take a chance and help me get to Bestseller status!

Please find the book on Audible and share it on Twitter, Facebook, everywhere!

Let’s get this book it’s long awaited Amazon #1 ribbon!

#Bestseller #Audiobook #Audible #WritingCommunity #AuthorsOfInstagram #BookWorm #Readers #Audio

https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Accidental-Scoundrel-Audiobook/B07S8QY16X?qid=1578518336&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=e81b7c27-6880-467a-b5a7-13cef5d729fe&pf_rd_r=0WV8VXA7PF5D9HZX43YX&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1

One Click And It’s Yours. QUICK!

BOOK ONE

Tripping the Night Fantastic … FREE AUDIOBOOK!!! (Normally worth loads of money).

And there’s another one below if you keep scrolling. I’m such a generous dude. Holy moly.

FREE Tripping Audiobook Cover

Rude, charming, funny and offensive. Tripping the Night Fantastic is a dark comedy about a writer, Charlie Deavon, who attempts to solve a murder that he is accused of while under the influence of a new hallucinogenic drug called Merlin. Struggling with reality and suspecting he might be a character in a novel, Charlie trips and hallucinates his way to the solution of this unique and uproariously funny murder mystery.

To get the audiobook for free simply click on this link –

https://www.freeaudiobookcodes.com/book_details.php?BOOK_ID=1228

Tripping Audiobook Cover

Just one click of the button and you can have one or both of my novels delivered straight to your Audible library. No sign up, no accounts, just a free book (that normally costs quite a bit of money).

Once the codes are gone they are gone though. As me and the narrator still get paid when you get the book for free Audible, quite sensibly I suppose, put a limit on how many we can give away.

BOOK TWO

The Accidental Scoundrel

FREE Accidental Scoundrel Audiobook CoverA group of elderly and bored aristocrats have taken to stealing rare and priceless items to pass the time. A young man named Richard gets swept up in their world when he gets engaged to the daughter of the dangerously unpredictable Lord Rochdale. Although Richard is not particularly comfortable with theft, or much of the roguish behaviour that goes with it, he must prove to Rochdale that he has scoundrel potential in order to marry his daughter and, more importantly, stay alive.

Accidental Scoundrel Audiobook CoverWith the help of a disgruntled horse and a genius street urchin Richard haphazardly stumbles his way through Rochdale’s trials and not only survives but gains the respect (although he’s not entirely sure how) of Lord Rochdale and his elite group of scoundrels. Now all he has to do is steal a priceless bottle of whiskey.

“Do we have a new Wodehouse?” (Robert Wingfield, The INCA Project)

“Anyone disappointed that Hugh Laurie’s second novel never turned up will be glad they picked up The Accidental Scoundrel and gave it a damn good reading.” – Jem Roberts, author of the upcoming official Fry and Laurie biography, Soupy Twists!

Same as above, different link – https://www.freeaudiobookcodes.com/book_details.php?BOOK_ID=1229

The Fearing by John F.D. Taff – Audiobook Review

Book One – Fire and Rain.

This is one of the very (VERY) rare books that I would read again.

Fire and Rain is book one of a tetralogy. (Yep, that’s the word for four books in a series. Who else thought it was quadrilogy? Just me? Okay.)

I have been raving about this book. Taff understands story. He knows how to create characters that you love, and is equally good at making characters that you hate. The pace is great. The set pieces of fear are imaginative and vividly realised.

The Fearing Book One

It starts with a troubled guy named Adam. He is afraid of everything. On the day that we meet Adam something unusual happens. People who come into contact with him are killed by their own fears. It starts small, but escalates quickly. By the time Book One is over, North America is on the brink of a fear induced apocalypse.

I was going to start this review by saying it contains spoilers, but I’ve decided I don’t want to ruin the fun. All I will say is that I was enjoying the book right up until it got to a scene involving a group of people on a bus and a fear that involved The Wizard of Oz… That was when I started loving the book.

The story centres around three different groups of people and we shift between each group as the events escalate. Adam and Jelnik, the people on the bus, and three teens.

There was a moment when the third group was introduced; a jock (Kyle), a popular girl (Carli), and a nerdy girl (Sarah), and I thought, “Oh, god, here we go. Bring on the cliché.” But Taff deftly steers it away from what you’re expecting and you are brought into the dynamic of the group as they struggle with all the things Taff throws at them.

Book One ends in a big way. From this point on the world will never be the same. The more afraid the characters get, the more danger they are in.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the narrator. Linda Jones is a superb reader. You don’t even realise she’s there (which is a compliment, even though it might not sound like it). I listen to an awful lot of audiobooks and Linda is a real talent.

Book Two – Water and Wind

Book Two sees the introduction of a new character; Reverend Mark. And with him comes one of the creepiest scenes in the story so far, involving a young boy named Dom. I won’t say anything about what happens but it proves the author can do small, fear-inducing, character-driven horror as well as the big imaginative set pieces that launched the narrative in book one.The Fearing Book TwoThe mystery of what’s happened to the world starts to become clearer. Adam is a vessel for all the world’s fears and the vessel is full. It has spilled out into the world.

Mark meets a girl. Monday. She’s going to be important.

If you’re reading this review I’m assuming you’ve read book one and are wondering if you should continue. Continue fellow reader, continue. Even if it’s just to get angry at Carli, the traitorous little bi-…

Great narration from Linda again.

Book Three – Air and Dust

It starts with a pile of burning dogs.

Mark and the small group he has met along the way arrive at an army base. On the first night the base is attacked.

There is a moment where Rev Mark, and the rest of the camp, are being attacked by swarming- well, I won’t say what, that would spoil the fun- and he does something that should come across as absurd schlock, but is actually exciting and just what the book needed at that moment. The Fearing Book ThreeThere are rumours of an encroaching darkness. A wall of sheer black spreading across the globe.

At the end of the book a man arrives with a convoy of people he has “saved” from other places. He tries to take over leadership of the army base and succeeds, but in doing so becomes the new villain of the story (god it’s hard to explain a story without spoiling anything). I’ll say this. By the time book three closes you’ll hate him in your bones. You’ll feel it in your gut. His name is Tim Jacoby and you’ll wish you were there so you could grab a weapon and reap vengeance yourself.

As with my previous reviews, hats off to the narrator, Linda Jones.

Book Four – Earth and Ember

The darkness is closing in. The psychotic new leader, Tim Jacoby, has had a message from God; Thou shalt go to Memphis.

So there he leads the last people alive on Earth. Graceland becomes their temporary home. The last stop before the final confrontation with Adam.The Fearing Book Four

We find out what is up with Jelnik; Adam’s personal slave. We go back to Jelnik’s childhood. The events described are awful, harrowing and terrifying. After the flashback, Adam assures Jelnik that things could have been so much worse, if he only he knew. Jelnik doesn’t believe it. Adam shows him.

At this point I thought, “There’s no way Taff can make that scene worse unless he goes over-the-top-corny with it.” Scary stuff can fall into absurdity very easily and lose its impact. It’s a fine balancing act.

So the memory restarts. Adam has turned up the fear. And… it… is… glorious. There are no limits to Taff’s disturbed mind. And god it’s fun to watch.

The last survivors leave Graceland to make their way to the last city on Earth to face down Adam.

Monday’s role in the apocalypse is revealed.

Rev Mark and Adam face off.

The ending is neither rushed nor prolonged.

Linda Jones’s narration was, as always, perfect.

A note on the serialization

I really have nothing bad to say about the story, the author, the narrator, the characters, the writing itself, it’s all great. But I do have something to say about the release of the book. It won’t affect the star rating, but I think it needs to be said, if only because I want to recommend the book to as many people as possible but find that I can’t because I’d be asking them to invest too much money in my recommendation. The price is far far too high. (If the Kindle and paperback editions are priced to reflect the shortness of each instalment, then that’s fine. All good and well. Serialization makes sense in those mediums. This is purely to do with the Audible release.)

I understand the reason for releasing it in a serialised form (in the tradition of Stephen King’s Green Mile, and the works of Dickens, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle etc.) But the reasons, in this instant, are driven by greed. A reason that rarely succeeds. The cost is too high. Each book is only about 3 hours long (apart from the fourth instalment which is just over 5) and most people only get one credit per month on Audible so he’s asking his readers to spend four months of credits on one story. That’s not much listening for a full third of a year. Especially when you can get seventy two hours of Sherlock Holmes for the same credit, and indeed The Green Mile in its entirety – 14 hours. I suspect it will ultimately have the opposite effect on sales and people will be put off by the combined high price. It won’t matter how much I, or other reviewers who have been lucky enough to get a review copy for free, rave about how great it is (and it is indeed great), the money grab leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

This is a book that should be loved by many more people than will be willing to part with the high ticket price. It would be sad to see the best horror I’ve read this year die because of an ill-considered route to market.

The book is being sold as an epic. And yet all four books combined are only the length of a single novel. It’s money for old rope. It frustrates me because if I hadn’t had the opportunity to review it for free I would have never gambled the £45.83 it would cost me (based on the current prices on Audible) to read it. It would have never happened.

I could get the stand for half the price (or one credit which is even cheaper) and it’s 47 hours long.

These things must be considered when it comes to releasing things in audio.

All four parts should be gathered together and released as The Fearing. I believe it would be a cornerstone of modern horror and many more people will discover it. People that really want to read it but can’t afford the comparatively massive cost would give it a go.

I would be the first to go to social media and tell the world about it.

It is a great book. One of my favourite of the last few years. If it wasn’t for that it wouldn’t frustrate me so much. I want the world to read it.

The one good thing about getting all four paperback editions is that the covers combine to create one big picture, which is pretty cool.

thefearingset

 

FREE audiobook comedy! (UK codes for Audible)

Rude, charming, funny, and offensive. Tripping the Night Fantastic is a dark comedy about a writer, Charlie Devon, who attempts to solve a murder while under the influence of a new hallucinogenic drug called Merlin. Struggling with reality and suspecting he might be a character in a novel, Charlie trips and hallucinates his way to the solution of this unique murder mystery.

Hello wonderful readers of audiobooks. I have UK codes to hand out for two of my novellas. They are short reads (each is about four and a half hours long) and have had many previous readers snorting and laughing away on their commutes to work. Reviews have been great so far but I desire more. The more reviews an audiobook has the more visible Audible’s mysterious algorithms make it for potential readers to find.

So, the two books. The first is Tripping the Night Fantastic, described above, and the second is The Accidental Scoundrel; a P. G. Wodehouse style comedy about a whisky heist.

If you would like a code for one or both of the books let me know in the comments and leave your email address so I can send you the code. If you aren’t comfortable sharing your email address here please come and find me on social media @AndyChapWriter (It’s the same on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram) and PM me.

Unfortunately I do only have UK codes available. All of my US codes have been used up.

Feel free to check out the books first on Audible at the following links –

Tripping the Night Fantastic

The Accidental Scoundrel

– Andy

Feral by Matt Serafini – Audiobook Review

A Horror so gruesome blood trickled from my earphones

Feral Cover

 

The book opens with a glorious and bloody first chapter (it begins with a vicious scene involving a girl in a bath tub. I won’t say any more on that).

The story then meanders a bit as you get to know the central group of characters but pretty soon people start disappearing and werewolves start crunching on skulls with their big fanged mouths. At one point a man’s face is torn away like skin from a cooked chicken. So if you like that sort of thing, tuck in.

The narration by Matt Godfrey is excellent. His voice delivers the story to your ears with great efficiency and effectiveness.

Feral is a good start to what I’m sure will be a bloody and howling series.

My only criticism is the meandering second act but much is made up by the quality of the writing. Matt Serafini knows his craft well.

Click here to view the book on Amazon (or on the picture above to go directly to the Audible page).

The Rats by James Herbert – REVIEW

This book surprised me. I was expecting some schlock. Some B-movie pulp horror. A first attempt at fiction by an author who would become one of England’s best selling horror novelists. But actually, it was brilliant.

It has a few intentional false starts so you’re not sure for a while if the person you’re following on that page is going to die in the next. Or if he, or she, will go on to be the main protagonist of the story. At first the book is a series of vignettes of rat killings. But you don’t just get a violent attack. You really get to know every character before they are ripped to shreds.

It starts with a story involving a gay salesman struggling with his love for another man. You think he’s going to be the main character and then he wakes up to find he’s being eaten alive by a swarm of rats the size of a small dogs.

The depth James Herbert gets from his characters is impressive for such a small book. He wants you to feel something for them before their eyes are graphically chewed out.

There are lots of things about this book I want to spoil for you, but I won’t. The ending was absurd and brilliant. I absolutely recommend it.

Scratch that Funny Bone

The Accidental Scoundrel is an Audible laughter factory. It is where giggles are made. Put on your headphones, press play, and soon you’ll be howling like a chuckle obsessed laughter junky.

5 star comedy from Audible. Check out the reviews on Amazon –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Accidental-Scoundrel-Rochdale-Manor/dp/B07SD24X31/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1559195822&sr=8-3

Audible UK –

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Accidental-Scoundrel-Audiobook/B07SDNB9M8?qid=1559198123&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=MGZP635WQCVGVXQQ3ZH4

Audible US –

https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Accidental-Scoundrel-Audiobook/B07S8QY16X?qid=1559198252&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=e81b7c27-6880-467a-b5a7-13cef5d729fe&pf_rd_r=1RKMX3D47NS9GV1V63V3